All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is a romance novel written by Jenny Han. The main character, Lara Jean, wrote love letters to “all the boys she has loved before” spanning from her childhood to her (current) junior year. Written as if “he’ll never read it. Because he never will.” (Han 1), the book focuses on Lara Jean as she attempts to recover her life and reputation after her letters get mistakenly sent out to their recipients. When five of Lara Jean's letters were sent out, the story's main plot only focuses on two: Peter Kavinsky and Josh Sanderson. All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is a very well-known book, awarded with a sequel to the book and a movie adaptation of the novel. Despite its high praise, I personally did not like All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. While the main premise of the novel is romance, all of the romantic relationships in the book seem toxic.
Josh Sanderson is the “first” love interest introduced in the book. His character fits the stereotype of “the childhood friend” in romantic tropes. While he and Lara Jean are childhood close friends, he was introduced into the story as Lara Jean’s older sister, Margot’s, boyfriend. However, Margot moving abroad due to college causes them to end their relationship also early on in the book. My main critique of having Josh as a love interest for Lara Jean is because their potential relationship isn’t that long after Josh and Margot break up. Only a few weeks after Margot leaves, Josh is still spending time with Lara Jean and Kitty, her younger sister. The topic of first crushes comes up, and Josh admits, “Anyway, Ms. Rothschild wasn’t my first crush ... You were.” (Han 36). While this could be interpreted as a completely harmless conversation, considering how the plot progresses, I find it a bit strange how he can so readily admit his first crush was his ex-girlfriend’s younger sister. Lara Jean is consistent, she reminds him she only seriously liked him before he was with Margot. However, when he found out she did like him seriously at one point and didn’t speak out due to Margot, he explains, “I wasn’t always with Margot ... You should have at least given me a chance.” (Han 193). He seems to constantly make out his relationship with Margot to be insignificant, while to Lara Jean, it’s the main reason she’s stopping herself from getting with Josh.
Peter Kavinsky, the other love interest, is a stereotypical “popular” character in high school set tropes. He is also a recipient of one of Lara Jean’s five letters. While Lara Jean began by constantly setting the reminder that she no longer loves Peter, they do “date” for the majority of the book. Essentially, they use each other. For Lara Jean, she uses Peter as a cover so Josh would think little of the love letter he received. After using him in front of Josh, her explanation to Peter includes, “But I don’t want him to know I have feelings for him... for obvious reasons. So... I told him you were my boyfriend.” (Han 62). On Peter’s side, he uses their fake relationship to make his ex-girlfriend, Gen, jealous. After thinking through what Lara Jean did, he proposes that they continue with their act, “Let’s let people think we’re a couple ... It’s driving Gen crazy not knowing what’s up with you and me. Why don’t we let her sit with it a little longer?” (Han 74). Having a fake relationship in itself is not the greenest flag, but it’s not immediately toxic. However, as they continue with the act, Peter seems to go to Gen multiple times. Throughout the book, one of Lara Jean’s friends warns her, “Last night I saw Kavinsky leaving her [Gen’s] house ... She’s going to try to get Peter back” (Han 193). This makes the fake relationship seem somewhat pointless, as he’s faking to try and get her attention, but seems to already have it.
I do think that if the book is read without much thought, the plotline itself is entertaining. However, when looking past the surface of the romantic relationships in the book, you can easily see many flaws. Personally, the idea of either of the relationships progressing while knowing their history makes them less enjoyable overall. Overall, All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is definitely an option, but it would not be my first pick in a romance novel.
- Athena
Hi Athena! I've heard a lot of good reviews of this book, but I appreciate your thoughts. I've clearly never read To All The Boys I've Loved Before, and I don't plan to, mainly because I don't enjoy romance novels. I think many of them play into harmful stereotypes such as the ones you mention. When romance is such an important part of the plot, it often becomes something that people take advantage of like the characters in this book. Dating someone regardless of whether you like them is not the best move. Dramatic books and movies like this one tend to make me uncomfortable because of how much romance is exploited. The toxicity isn't the only reason I don't enjoy watching romance shows or reading romance books, but it's definitely one of the main factors.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog post :D Have a great day!!
This was a really interesting blog post! I have this read many times and I had never read the book with much thought. But after reading your blog post, I was somewhat surprised to see how toxic all of Lara Jean's relationships were. I enjoyed reading this book and watching the movie but I think I would have to read this book one more time with your points in mind to see how it changes my views on this book.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great blog post! I have read this book and watched the movie many times and never realised this. As you mention you have to look past the surface to see these things. I agree with what you have written though, most if not all of Lara Jeans relationships are toxic. To realize this though you have to look past the surface and really pay attention to detail. As someone else said in their comment I would be interested to read this book to see if I notice any of this for myself.
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